Training Camp: You are loved by your team & God!

Wow, I finally can take the time to write about such a sweet, beautiful, and life-changing experience at Training Camp. Let me start by just saying that before I got on the plane to fly out to Atlanta, Ga, I had all these anxieties and worries flowing through my mind. Things like, am I going to fit in? Did I pack to much? What am I doing? Am I qualified? Haha, I know that some of those things are lies that we like to tell ourselves when we don’t know what God is about to do. I often will trust in my flesh or believe the lies of the enemy. But let me tell you how God trumps my thoughts and ways! The first couple of days at training were us trying to get to know each other with vague or just superficial questions. There was some awkwardness stepping into this new thing God was doing with us and the unsurity of how this will all play out. By being positioned where our faith was tested, we had to rely on God for strength and each other. The first thing I noticed was this beautiful unity within the leadership. There was a bond of unity that came from the Holy Spirit and the joy of the Lord. They were just authentic and genuine, clothed with the humility of Jesus and walking in His grace. It’s attractive, and God has used them to spark a fire in me to share His goodness. Not sure if it was the 2nd or 3rd night, but it was brought to our attention that our squad had to break up into teams and take hr slots through the night to pray. So I and two others from my team took the 4-5am slot. As the crew before us came to wake us up, I remembered stepping out of the tent freezing, no coffee and was basically sleepwalking to the porch where we were called to pray. It was so sweet that each person left encouragement letters for the next group to persevere in prayer. We started praying for God to break down the walls that we may have had in our lives and for Him to unify us as a squad also to wreck us by the power of His presence. We also lifted up our leaders and that the anointing of God would be upon the worship team and sessions. So by the first session, God did just that through the worship and words of encouragement spoken over me from leaders. God’s presence healed us that morning and drew us closer to His heart. The walls of doubt came crashing down. The walls of fear were smashed, and all anxiety had left. I don’t think there was a person in that place that God’s Spirit didn’t move in some powerful way. The crazy thing is I was thinking, Ok, God, that was awesome, and wasn’t really expecting more to happen. That was just the beginning, though. God used team-building activities where we were placed in situations where we had to work together to solve a problem or action, which gave us a perspective of our strengths and weaknesses and how to work together. I loved the vulnerability displayed through our leadership in our feedback squad group, where we were taught how to give each other healthy feedback to help us grow in Christ and as brothers and sisters in the Lord. What was so sweet about it is that when both my leaders Ally and Heidi, gave an example of what good feedback was, it wasn’t manufactured or made up. Ally gave her genuine feedback, and it was evident it encouraged and touched Heidi’s heart, and you could sense God’s presence in the room, teaching us through the realness of their vulnerability. Also, I love the way our leader Flick displayed bad or unhealthy feedback towards our leader Brandon; haha, so funny.
There was a point that I started to experience spiritual warfare and started to go through discouragement and doubt. I began to doubt what God had called me to do and that I was alone and not accepted, and fear started to overtake me. Out of nowhere in one of the sessions, Karen, a strong Spirit-filled woman, had called me out of the crowd and had asked me if I was a deep thinker and kind of a deep soul. To meet with her after to chat. I was instantly like, dang, this is bad haha, why did she call me out of everybody? So I meet with her afterward, and she encourages me to walk in the gift of discernment and not to hold back when the Lord gives me a word. Then she hands me a piece of folded-up paper and says, here, somebody wanted me to give this to you. On it says this ” You are loved, By your team and God!” I was so undone cause I wasn’t voicing anything that was going on internally in me at this point, just really taking it to the Lord. Still, God knew to place it on someone’s heart to tell me, and I’m thankful for that cause it kept me focusing on the truth that I’m accepted and loved by God and my team and not to believe the enemy’s lies.
During worship, there was also a time when one of my teammates, Brian, came and prayed over me, and it was exactly what I needed cause thoughts were waging war in my mind. Overall the time at training just got intensively more awesome. Ari led a session on forgiveness that was incredible at the perfect time in training to allow us to seek forgiveness from God and reconcile with maybe someone we’ve wronged or wronged us. It was so beautiful how God’s presence softened our hearts and how God has led us to get right with Him and others. I also can’t forget our coaches Aj & Jenn Hebert, a devoted couple helping prepare missionaries for the field. Their Love for the Lord is apparent by how they live their lives. I was truly blessed by the session they led where we could give up some things/idols hindering us from walking in our calling by writing them on a piece of paper and burning them. Jenn and Brandon came around and anointed us with oil and prayed for us, which was awesome.
I believe this leads me to our last and best night, which is hard to say cause it was all really good. So our squad had to compete in a competition called Squad Wars, which is us the Expedition Route (Blue) V.S., the Pacific Rim Route(Red). We were assigned to make up a dance routine that took some time to practice; by God’s grace, we got it down. The games we competed in were so intense I felt like I was in the movie Gladiator haha. IT WAS AMAZING! I don’t think I ever rooted for a team and, at the same time, almost lost my voice ever! Both Squads were neck to neck, and with the Judges vote, our squad came in Victory!! We roared with excitement because we all thought that we were definitely going to lose this one, haha!!!! After that, we headed straight into baptisms then into worship to end our last night out.
I felt God tugging on my heart to be rebaptized. I just felt in my spirit that before I took this next Journey with God, I needed power from above to empower and equip me for the Journey. Also, I remember one of our teachers talking about how God can move upon you even though it is a symbolic proclamation of faith; God can also move upon you by baptizing you in His Spirit. It’s been in my heart for a while now, and He made a way, so I listened. Let me tell you that night I was changed and radically wrecked by His Holy Spirit! God did just what our teacher said could happen. His presence was so powerful that I could barely stand to get out of the water that my brothers needed to help lift me out. I know what it is like not to heed God’s voice and what it is to heed. I’m just thankful that God surrounded me with His people who are family and who I can be real with, laugh, and weep with, spend time in our father’s love together and be that love to the nations together. If you remember me talking in the beginning about unity through the Spirit, I found attractive in the leadership. Well, that same unity was imparted to our squad through them. Jesus has knitted us together as one to love as one and to serve as one. I know this is a long blog, and I probably could write millions more of what God did that week, but I just wanted to give God glory for what He is doing and what He’s done, and how he has brought these amazing brothers and sisters of Christ into my life. Lets Goooo O Squad!!!!